I weighed

(as 6am after the night feed - well Sophia was asleep, so I figured I should grab my moment!)
And it's 272.2.
Yuck.
That's all I have to say about that. BUT I'm determined to change it.
In the meantime, however, I have to go back to bed.

(another) new start

Ok, so my baby is here. Sophia Louise is three weeks old today. And I NEED to lose weight again. I know that I wasn't good with my eating habits while I was pregnant, and they've got worse since I gave birth, so it's time to take hold of them again. I'm not sure how much I weigh (I need to get my scales from my mum's house) but I know it's LOTS. I can tell cos I can see it on my belly and my thighs, and in my face.

I went shopping on Monday to get some trousers, since I was pregnant over the summer and the few maternity clothes I have are all too cold for the Autumn. I got a pair of black jeans, but it was quite depressing that I needed a size 24. That's only one size down from what I was wearing at the start of my weight loss journey a couple of years ago.

I know that it's still only 3 weeks since I gave birth, so I still need to be easy on myself. I need to rest and make sure I'm getting lots of sleep. For my sake, and Sophia's, but I also know that losing weight will help me feel so much more energetic and so much happier. So, this is it, I'm on the weigh again. I know that accountability helps me, so I'll be weighing in here (One weigh or Another) and I'm posting this post on my personal weight loss blog too (Can big change to beautiful?).

Life and changing shape

I haven't blogged over here in a long time, partly I guess because it felt like I didn't need to blog here. I felt like 'big' had changed to 'beautiful'. I'd changed physically, but more importantly, I'd changed emotionally too.

I fell in love, with myself firstly, and then with M, who's now my husband. I felt beautiful. I recognised that beauty is on the inside, not just the outside. I've learnt so much and changed in so many ways since I started this blog back in September 2006.

So, why am I blogging here again? I'm almost 21 weeks pregnant and my body is changing shape again. It's exciting, but it's also scary and actually quite difficult to come to terms with.
I'd got thinner, my tummy wasn't huge, I felt more normal sized, and now my tummy is growing again, and it's sometimes hard to deal with.

I have high hopes for this baby, and for me, but I'm also scared that the weight won't come off again afterwards. I don't want to lose my determination, my spark, the impetus that helped me to lose the weight in the first place. So here I am to document the second half of my pregnancy a little, and how I'm dealing with changes in my body.

Thursday 15th January

I think that although I'm not really losing weight this week, it's been good to make myself write down everything that I've eaten, even when I've gone totally off track. In the past I've just clammed up and stopped recording, and I have found it hard to persevere, but I'm trying. I'm hoping that today I'll stay on track. But whatever happens, I'll let you know!

weigh-in 223

Breakfast
Bacon and mashed cauliflower

Wednesday 14th January

Forgot to weigh this morning

Brunch
mashed cauliflower & veggie curry

Snack
cashew nuts, macadamia nuts and a piece of cheese
(later) spoonful of peanut butter
A few chocolates. I found them when I was tidying up my room, and had eaten them before I realised that I shouldn't have.

Dinner
fajita style - onion, pepper, a little leftover beef, fajita seasoning, yoghurt and grated cheese.

After dinner
I ate that oat stuff again. I need to stop thinking that I need something else to eat.

Tuesday 13th January 2008

Morning weigh in 222.8

Breakfast
cold veggie curry

snack
babybel cheese

lunch
veggie curry with a little cheese

afternoon
This is where it went wrong. I was really hungry, but didn't take enough South Beach friendly snacks with me. I ended up eating a mix of oats and hot chocolate sauce.

dinner
liver & bacon, onion, mashed cauliflower, peas and carrots

Evening
2 cookies

Monday 12th January

Weigh-in 225.2

Breakfast
Veggie curry with a little grated low fat cheese

Snack
Baby bel

Lunch
Veggie Curry with grated cheese

Afternoon
small piece of chicken & mushroom pie, and 1/3 a baked potato. (Not a good move, i know :( )

Dinner
mashed potato and tomato, kidney beans and chicken.
Fruit salad and a little bit of icecream.
3 Quality Sweets sweets.

8th Jan 2009

I got distracted (in life and in eating) and my accountability went, or rather I ate stuff that I didn't want to own up to eating :(

I'm back on track today, mostly. I got up late though.
weigh-in today 221.2

Brunch
Veggie curry with grated cheese on the top

Afternoon snack
piece of ham
spoonful peanut butter
handful cashew nuts

Dinner
Sausages with daal and cabbage. Followed by a couple of dates (just randomly really. Don't know why I ate them, cos I don't like them that much. Need to work on not doing that)

Evening
Babybel cheese

2nd Jan

Morning weigh-in 221

Breakfast/Lunch (I ate it at almost midday, having had a late night and got up late today!)
bacon, egg, baked beans

Snack
Cashew nuts
Chocolate Orange

Dinner
Salad - lettuce, baby tomatoes, low-fat feta cheese, red pepper, chickpeas, cashew nuts, dressing. Followed by a small piece of Christmas pudding

Happy New Year!

Morning weigh-in 221.4 (ish, if not lower - my scales weren't cooperating today!)

Breakfast
bacon, egg, leftover broccoli

Snack
cashew nuts
1/2 mug of turkey and tarragon soup

Lunch
spiced chicken, potatoes, sweet potato mash, carrots, asparagus, bread, olives, lemon meringue pie, cheesecake, ice cream, chocolates... (it was not a good diet afternoon!)

Dinner
yam, chicken, potato

Not a good diet day, back on track tomorrow.